Jan 10, 2022
Question: How do we split up “the chores” of a household?
- For marriage, roommates, families, etc.
Dave & Heidi housekeeping love story
- Gottman research, wives find spouse doing housework erotic
- do what works, not what is expected
- Identifying expectations from other places – culture, family of
- equality doesn’t mean 50/50, it’s seeing each other as
- there is no perfection in chore life: dailyness of life
together in a household and the value of working on the daily
things together even when they aren’t fun
- name your own expectations and desires: what needs to be done?
How often? On certain days? etc.
- avoid extreme chore mentality
- consider the mental energy of appts and schedules and bills,
- “I need you to participate more fully in (fill in the
- building your family culture: we all live here, we all have
jobs to get the stuff of life done
- talk about it, write it down, list it all out
What can we stop doing?
What do we each like doing?
What do I never want to do?
How can we split it up?
- think about it as a “communication playground”
- ongoing, constant conversation (29:52)
- marriage contract joke
- make trades
- ask for help in both directions
Short answer: talk about it, talk about it more, write it down,
be extremely practical in this area