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May 23, 2022

Topic: Topic: How do you break up well?How do I know it’s healthy to start dating again after a divorce or breakup?

 

  • The weightiness of breakups
  • Reminding us of our need as humans for intimacy
  • There are ways to do break ups “better”, but no way to do it “easy”

 

Keep it classy, kind, and clear

  • Break ups are in a moment, but the work of a break up is long term
  • face to face universally preferred in the research
  • What do you need and what needs healing?
  • Find your support people
  • Consider the impact on relationships beyond yourself

 

Allow for emotions

  • Give opportunity to process for yourself and your break up partner
  • let complex emotions be there, just listen and then move forward
  • Own what needs to be owned, don’t own what isn’t yours
  • Dave’s wisdom = “It’s not you, it’s us.”
  • space before friendship
  • Happier music video: https://youtu.be/m7Bc3pLyij0

 

Give yourself time and space for the grief

  • Set needed boundaries
  • Homeostasis, getting to normalcy and comfort
  • Pay attention to your internal dialogue and engage in healthy and aware self-talk
  • A good time to engage in your spiritual life for foundation safety/comfort
  • Space in communication
  • disenfranchised grief and awareness of the stages of grief
  • markers for “moving on”

 

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0338013/

Necessary Endings: https://amzn.to/3PD8Q4Q

Short answer: Keep it classy and give yourself time.